Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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