so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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