Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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