right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Damn victory sex feels great
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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