farters have to be the big spoon...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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