No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
