you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
