A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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