This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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