Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
