so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
