The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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