i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
