Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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