well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
