had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
