we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
