OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
