Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We had sex on a dog bed..
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
