I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
