his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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