I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
