we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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