so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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