nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize