you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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