Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
