Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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