dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
