He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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