Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
