and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
