my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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