a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
