how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
