I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
