What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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