Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
