It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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