Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
