The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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