I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
