Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
