Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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