what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
