I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
