Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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