pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize