am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
