we have officially lost it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
