I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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