she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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