Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I want a musical about memes.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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