when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
