WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
