you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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