Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Floor bacon is actually really good
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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