dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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