We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
