So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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