How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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