lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
