she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
