If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
