Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
