Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
